


don't you get clever

by LadyLokiLaufeyson



Category: The Goldfinch (2019)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blow Jobs, Childhood Friends, Drug Abuse, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Gun play, Knife Play, M/M, Nipple Play, Organized Crime, Prostitution, Repression, Smut, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 19:27:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21141968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLokiLaufeyson/pseuds/LadyLokiLaufeyson
Summary: a study into boris and theo's relationship





	don't you get clever

**Author's Note:**

> title comes from severed by the decemberists. 
> 
> song quotes come from i don't care that much by matt maeson.

**SCENES FROM A RELATIONSHIP **

_ “Maybe life was just a bet _

_ That I lost to drugs and cigarettes,” _

The first thing Theo becomes painfully aware of is the abundance of skin around him. All of Boris’ boys are in some state of undress. A bare chest here, an exposed thigh there, naked and smooth legs abound. Theo felt painfully out of place in his three piece suit. He was no better than anyone in here, but they all seemed to cast looks of suspicion and doubt at him from hazy eyes. 

The second thing Theo becomes painfully aware of is that all of Boris’ boys look the  _ same _ . Soft, rounded features. Brown eyes. Full lips. Short, brunette hair. There are some differences: some of the boys have hair that’s a bit longer, a bit messier. Others have lighter eyes or darker skin. Some were a few inches shorter or taller. But it was impossible for Theo to not perceive their overarching commonalities. Every single one of Boris’ boys were as close to a knockoff of Theo as you could get. 

Boris’ heels clicked behind him now, and a strong hand came to rest on his back. 

“Potter, you’ve met the rest of the boys,” 

Theo turned to look down at Boris. He shifted his weight uncomfortably, coughed, and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

“Boris...what is this?” he whispered, inching closer to the other man so as to be out of earshot of the others.

Boris’ eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean? You don’t like?” 

“Can we go somewhere private?” 

One of the boys within earshot chuckled suggestively and Theo winced. 

“Anything for you, Potter,” Boris said, smiling that smile that simultaneously broke and healed Theo’s heart. 

In Boris’ “office”, which was more his impressive bedroom than anything else, Theo sat on the bed while Boris stood in front of him. 

“Boris...you’re fucking with me if you don’t realize all those guys look exactly like me,” Theo said bluntly, looking up at the other man.

Boris shrugged, his leather suit jacket creaking as he did so. Theo could see a blush creeping up his drawn out cheeks. 

“Ah you got me,” Boris said, rocking back on his heels. “If it makes you feel better, I didn’t even realize at first,” 

“Boris, I don’t even know what I’m doing here,” Theo said, suddenly feeling self-conscious while sitting on the four poster bed with Boris hovering above him.

He had no explanation behind why he felt shame in that moment; it wasn’t like the bed or Boris above him was anything new. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t just last night been tangled in the now neatly made sheets. And to top it off, he was literally about to whore himself out to other men on Boris’ behalf. 

And yet, in this moment, he felt so small. He wrung his hands. He needed a fix. A bump of coke or a line of vicodin was all he needed to take the edge off, to feel okay again while sitting in front of the man he was so desperately in love with but so afraid to tell.

Apparently Boris could sense his apprehension, and he pulled a small vial out of his coat pocket. 

“Let’s get you straight, Potter” he said, popping the cap off the vial and pouring some of the fine white substance onto his index finger. Nowhere near enough, but it’d have to do. Boris held his finger to Theo’s right nostril and Theo greedily snorted it up. He tipped more onto his finger and held it up to Theo’s left nostril for him to repeat the action.

“Better?” 

Theo smiled.

“Better.”

~

_ “And my whole fuckin’ character’s changed _

_ I don’t know who I used to be _

_ But it certainly isn’t me,” _

A dark trail of blood leaked from Boris’ nose and connected with his top lip. He examined himself in the mirror and brushed his tongue out to lick at the blood curiously, the metallic taste sending a shiver down his spine.

“You’re gross,” Theo said from behind him, wrapping an arm around his upper chest. Boris turned his head and Theo connected their lips, lapping up the rest of the blood.

Boris loved when Theo was like this - he was so much freer with the drugs. He would kiss him without abandon and take Boris’ semen down his throat like it was holy water. They would spend hours fucking, constantly switching back and forth when the other got tired. They forced orgasm after orgasm out of each other and Boris felt like he was in fucking heaven. 

Theo had been hitting the drugs harder than usual, probably to psych himself up to have sex with the men who paid a pretty penny to fuck or be fucked by him. Boris would admit he felt bad at times, whoring his own friend - lover? - out as if he were just another boy in his harem. But to be fair, Theo wasn’t just any boy, he was  _ the _ boy. He was the prototype and all the other boys were just reproductions, copies, and frauds. Boris still couldn’t believe he’d gotten so lucky, gotten a second chance to be with Theo. Even less believable was the fact that Theo had somehow agreed to be one of his boys. Boris knew Theo had been growing weary of selling fake antiques and that his devotion to seeing Hobie thrive was the driving force behind all of this. 

God bless Hobie’s heart, if only he knew what his son got up to in order to keep the shop from going under.

~

_ “Any more and more I drink, I am afraid _

_ That I’m just killin’ myself,” _

Boris’ hand is shaking and he’s got the barrel of the gun aimed directly at Theo’s heart. If Boris pulled the trigger right now and splattered Theo’s heart across the room, Theo thought it would hurt less than the decade plus of yearning for Boris. 

“You love me? Yes or no?” Boris said shakily, a tear running down his face.

Theo exhaled, a long sound. For the first time in years it felt like he could fucking  _ breathe _ .  _ ‘You love me? Yes or no?’ _ the words rang in his head - it was such a simple, almost childlike question, especially coming from behind Boris’ muddled accent.

But it was Boris - Boris was the one asking him, which meant Boris loved him. Which meant Theo no longer had to wonder if he was loved or if he was just a fucktoy. 

“Boris -” Theo reached out and pushed Boris’ hand so the gun was aimed away from him “I’ve loved you since the first day I met you,”

Theo hears the gun clatter to the ground and then Boris’ hands are in Theo’s hair and they’re kissing, deeply and passionately. Theo thinks that maybe this is their first  _ real  _ kiss, their first kiss as two people brutally in love, as two people with no uncertainty between them. The feeling is overwhelming and Theo begins to shake. Hot tears roll down his cheeks. 

Boris is whispering to him in Ukranian, holding him like he used to when they were kids. Theo clings onto him for dear life and finds that he never wants to let go. If he could live inside Boris, right in his chest, aside his heart, he would. 

~

_ “Got me fearin’ for my health,” _

Boris drags the switchblade up the front of Theo’s shirt, the buttons popping off one by one and showering onto the marble floor. 

“So beautiful…” he whispers reverently, looking at Theo’s exposed chest. He drags the switchblade up the center of the other man’s chest, but not hard enough to draw blood - yet. 

Theo shrugs off the remains of the shirt and he shivers, his skin getting gooseflesh in the cool room. This also conveniently makes his nipples oh-so-perky. 

Boris lets out a helpless little laugh and leans in to catch one of Theo’s nipples in his mouth. He moves downwards, dropping to his knees and taking Theo’s soft cock into his mouth.Theo gently bucks into his mouth, cock gradually filling up inside Boris’ mouth as he suckles at him hungrily. 

Boris still has the switchblade, and he presses it against the inside of Theo’s thigh now. He makes a shallow nick in the meat of it, no more than an inch or so, and blood blooms from the wound. He looks up to judge Theo’s reaction, and is pleased (and maybe somewhat pleasantly surprised) that Theo’s head is lolling back in ecstasy. 

Boris leans in to taste the blood. “Love the way you taste Potter,” he mumbles into his crotch, and he feels Theo’s abdomen shake with laughter.

“Not funny…” he whispers, moving from the cut to continue his ministrations on Theo’s cock. 

“It is a little,” Theo counters. Boris sucks hollows his cheeks around Theo’s cock, causing the man to gasp for air. Boris pops his lips off and smiles wetly “Still funny? Theo shakes his head vigorously and Boris leans back down to finish the job.

~

_ “I’m scared that hell is just  _

_ a place on Earth _

_ And I pray to God I leave _

_ Before Satan pours another drink,” _

It was a drug deal gone bad. The cartel had wanted collateral that Boris couldn’t offer up. 

Theo had been sitting in Boris’ kitchen, nursing a bottle of vodka as he examined the lines of pills lined up in front of him with hazy eyes. Then the call came, one of Boris’ housekeepers shoving the phone into his unsteady hands. 

First, there was an overwhelming and sickening sense of deja vu. Him, sitting in a kitchen, waiting for someone who for all intents and purposes should walk through the door any minute. Him, answering the phone and being met with a sympathetic but clinical voice on the other end. 

Then, he felt as if he were spinning, the room about to fall out from under him. He tried to stand up, but had to grab the edge of the counter for balance within seconds.

Finally, there was clarity. Despite having been railing drink and drugs for the last few hours, he experienced a clarity of thought and mind that he hadn’t experienced since...since…

Theo shook his head, desperately trying to focus on what the woman at the other end of the phone was telling him. 

_ “Emergency contact...ER...questions...shooting...accident…” _

Theo gleaned enough to figure out where Boris was being kept and gave Boris’ driver a $100 bill if he’d break a few traffic laws.

At the hospital, everything was white and sterile and blinding. Theo barely remembered giving his name, giving Boris’ name, being led down a long hall.

Inside, Boris lie, still and angelic. His chest was bandaged, his arm in a sling, and his face was swollen and stitched. The rest of his body was covered in a blanket so Theo couldn’t tell if he’d sustained any other injuries.

Theo’s throat was dry as he turned to the doctor to ask the question he feared the answer to. “Will he be...okay?”

The doctor used a lot of big words and hand gestures in her explanation, but from what Theo could tell, Boris was “unconscious but stable”. Theo let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, shook the doctor’s hand maybe a little too tightly and impulsively, and went to sit next to Boris’ bed. 

Theo reached inside his jacket and pulled out a bottle of Adderall, pushing more into his mouth than he probably should have. He was determined to stay awake until Boris woke up. He was afraid Boris wouldn’t wake up if he fell asleep, if he took his eyes off him.

~

_ “I’m just living like a man on fire.” _

Boris blinked himself awake. His head was throbbing and he couldn’t see out of his left eye. His body felt numb but he could tell he was in pain all over. 

“Boris?” a voice said, sounding like it was underwater.

Boris groggily moved his head to the right and found Theo staring at him intently, with so much worry in his eyes that Boris thought he might cry.

“Theo…” Boris whispered back.

Theo leaned in to tenderly kiss Boris’ lips and it vaguely stung. 

“Why did you come here? To the hospital, I mean...people are gonna ask questions...you could be in danger,” Theo said urgently. A pause “I can’t live with you locked up or something. I can’t live without you,” 

Boris tried to smile but he became aware that his lower lip had stitching in it and that it hurt to smile. He reached his aching good arm up to cup Theo’s cheek in his hand.

“All I could think...was that I had to make it home to you, Theo” he said tenderly, letting the tears flow out of his eyes now, the salt stinging the wounds on his face.

Theo was crying too now and Boris painfully scooted to the side and patted the bed next to him. Theo crawled into the bed next to him and drew Boris into his side. Boris’ heart caught in his chest. It felt like the culmination of every time Boris had held Theo in his arms and brought him back down to earth. 

Boris didn’t know what would happen next, if he had enough policemen paid off to cover this up, if he had enough councilmen on his side, if he could just walk this one off. But he did know that at this moment he was safe, tucked into the side of the man he loved, listening to their hearts beat in tandem. 

Two souls once separated by circumstance and fear, reunited by time and entwined in love on behalf of the universe. 

**Author's Note:**

> plz leave comments n kudos if u want!!


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